Catch Up

I've been informed (thank you, Aunt Claire) that I need to put some more Emma pictures on here, so let me play catch up!

For my birthday we met Brad's sister, Stacie, and cousin, Madison, at the Georgia Aquarium! It was Emma's very first trip and she was mesmerized! She loved it! She was in a stupor for most of the trip - all she could do was stare! It was a good thing that we took separate cars from Stacie and Madison - Emma decided it was time to meltdown about an hour and a half after we got there, so we took the express route in expectation of that. We hit all of the big attractions that we knew she'd love and be able to get the closest to. It was SO much fun, as you can see! This picture was just as we walked in - the first fish she saw. She kept pointing and looking at me, and pointing. She couldn't believe her eyes!

Checking out the stingrays and the sharks. And yes, I DID touch a stingray, despite being stung by one a few years ago. And no, I didn't pinch him as I had told Brad I would. ;)

Looking at the otters with Daddy.

Unfortunately, we've been pretty sick around here lately. Brad had bronchitis, which he gave to me. Emma came down with a runny nose on Friday and woke up Saturday with a fever of 100.7 and a cough. Having only had one cold before (when she was 4 months old) and seeing as this was the first time she had a runny nose AND a fever, her overprotective Mama packed up and went to the pediatrician. We're SO lucky that our pediatrician's office has Saturday hours. We were only in the waiting room for a minute and the doctor was pretty quick to diagnose Emma as having a "virus." She said that it would likely last 7-10 days, with days 5-7 being the worst and most congested days. She also said we'd likely be dealing with the fever for 3-5 days. No prescriptions, no meds. Just a lot of liquids and the humidifier. The whole time she was talking I was sitting there thinking, "Didn't we JUST do this?? Didn't she JUST have 5 days of a fever???" The kid can't catch a break. Neither can her Mama.

Even more unfortunately, I now have a lot of sinus congestion and am still on the antibiotic for bronchitis. Hoping it goes away soon - it's no fun to be taking care of a sick baby when you feel like crap yourself. Ick.

Brad started back to work last Wednesday for 3 pre-planning days. His students start tomorrow. I think he's excited, but he'd never tell. ;) He gets really, really stressed out near the first day of school, and always has. He's been a little hard to live with the last few days, so Emma and I are looking forward to seeing the first day of school go ahead and get over with already!

Here are a few pictures of Emma from tonight. She was about to take a bath, hence the nekkidness. Brad was dropping her crib down for the last time because she's getting to be a big girl and we wanted to put in her crib wedge while she's sick (it elevates the head of the mattress so she can breathe better). With it in, she could likely have crawled over the top, so we lowered it. She was a good helper for Daddy! She pulled out plenty of books to read to him while he worked.

Gotta love the big old diaper butt!

Have I mentioned that she's walking???? She'll take up to 7 or so steps on her own! She doesn't have a ton of confidence with it yet, so it's not consistent, but she's getting there! 2 more sort of random pictures. I love this first one. It's Amber, just about 60 seconds after finding out she's pregnant again! Yay!!
This last one was created by Amber's mom, Penny. She's Emma's other "Nana!" Isn't it incredible???? Thank you Penny!!

Gymboree

Well, Brad's back at work. Emma and I were on our own again for the first time today. It's been a great day, but the little monkey is going to have to get re-accustomed to being sat down every once in a while! She's been spoiled this summer having both of us here to entertain her and she hasn't been in "the pen" or in her crib very much. Now with Brad back in school, if I have to fix her lunch, go to the bathroom, wash my hands, etc. she has to be put somewhere, which she doesn't like. She was absolutely fine with that before the summer, and I'm sure she'll get back in the swing of things again soon. ;)

I had a great birthday. Amber and Jason came and spent the day and we had a great dinner while Emma played at her grandparents house. Amber gave me the most incredible gift ever - a scrapbook of Emma's first year (and my pregnancy). It's gorgeous beyond words and had me in tears by page 3!

Brad has been dealing with bronchitis, which he then passed on to me. I'm now working on getting over it and praying that Emma doesn't end up being the next victim.

We decided at the last minute to go visit Amber and Jason in Carrollton one last time before school starts back up. Brad and I really needed to de-stress and were really happy that they don't mind us inviting ourselves over every few weeks ;) Emma loves their house because it's like going to a petting zoo - they have chickens, roosters, ducks, cows, and a goat. Oh, the goat. She has looked at him from a distance before, and even gotten quite close. This time, however, she was scared to death! He is really friendly and was in his fence. He came over and started "meeeeehhhhing." He kept wanting to give her kisses and as soon as he'd get close, or LOOK like he was going to get close, she'd grab onto me REALLY hard and yell! It was hysterical! I'm a horrible mother :( After some gentle coaxing, she was much better with him.

We had a lot of excitement on Monday. Amber found out that she's pregnant! Seth is SO excited to be a big brother! I'm so excited for her. Maybe it will be us soon enough. It was so awesome to be there with them when they found out. In fact, she told me before she told Jason ;) Just had to brag!

We also had a few firsts this week. Emma gave my mom a black eye for the first time! She's got quite a temper (Emma, not my mom) and has really gotten into stiffening up and throwing her head back when she doesn't get her way. Well, my mom's face got in the way when I told Emma that it was time to go. I feel horrible - she's on vacation this week and I'm sure my Dad's getting the side-eye because it looks like he beat her. Wow.

We went to Gymboree for the first time today too! She had an absolute blast! As soon as we got in and I was sitting our stuff down, I sat her down as well. She made a beeline and was across the room with the other kids before I knew it! She loved climbing on the fun equipment and playing with the other kids. It was so much fun! Every 5-10 minutes the "teacher" would have a different group activity that the kids could do in the middle of the room (banging on a big drum, pushing a huge padded "log," etc.) There was lots of singing, bubbles, and dancing too. Emma loved it, but after the last 15 minutes of sitting down and singing, she was almost over it - but she held it together nicely! She was so funny. She didn't want to have much to do with me once we got there. She was too busy playing with other kids, taking their toys, throwing balls, and climbing through tunnels. Once they pulled out the parachute, she was a mama's girl again! They had us all get under it and make a big tent. She enjoyed that, and crawled over to the teacher (across the group from me). As soon as she got over there, the teacher had the adults get out of the tent and make it go up and down over the kids. Emma freaked! She found me and I got to hold her for the rest of the class. Poor baby. She did SO well, especially considering that it was during her nap time. We're going to try to go this weekend when they have Open Gym so that Brad can come play too - it was SO much fun!

Once we got back from Gymboree we ate lunch and Emma had another first - she signed "more" for the very first time! I tried signing with her a few months ago and she really just didn't get it. She would watch me do it, but make no attempt to imitate. Today she was doing it over and over again - even when I just would ask her if she wanted more! She's getting so big!

Sorry there aren't pictures to this post. I'll try to upload some soon, but it's quite a chore and I just honestly didn't have the energy this afternoon. I'll try to catch up next week!

Hand, Foot, & Mouth, oh my!

We've had quite the exciting week this week! We went to Carrollton to spend a few days with Amber and Jason. We had a great time and Emma was an angel - she slept well, and even liked Jason this time (she's always been terrified of him for some reason!). We had a really funny moment. Amber and I were at her mother's house visiting with Amber's brand new niece when Brad called. I had apparently forgotten to pack bibs and he was feeding Emma dinner. I told him to go ahead and use a dishtowel and that I would run to Walmart later to buy some bibs. This is what I saw when we got back to Amber's house! Please notice the CHIP CLIP!


Jason brought out his guitars and played for Emma. She had fun playing too!


When we got home on Thursday morning, Emma felt really warm. I took her temperature and it was 102! I immediately called the pediatrician's office and we made an appointment for right after her nap. I gave her tylenol and put her down. By the time that we got to the pediatrician's office, it was down to 99.5. However, her cheeks and arms were bright red. Dr. Hutson said that that's her body's way of ridding itself of excess heat. She was miserable. He did a quick exam and noticed one small sore in her mouth and determined that she had the coxsackie virus, commonly known as "hand, foot, and mouth disease." It's basically a really common summer virus that causes 2-5 days of a high fever and often sores in the mouth or on the hands and feet. He recommended Motrin because it has a longer half-life than tylenol. We came straight home and gave her Motrin. She was a sick little puppy.

We had a good 4 days of fever and general miserableness. She never did get any more sores (she may have had more in her mouth, but none that I could see). By the time that she was well, we had completely screwed up her sleeping schedule. I had gotten back in the habit of going in her room everytime she fussed to make sure her fever wasn't too high. Often times I would take her out of her crib, give her more Motrin, and nurse her again before putting her back down. It took 2 days of sleep training to get her back on track, but she's as good as new now! In fact, she's recently discovered the joys of sleeping late in the morning. Yesterday, she didn't get up until 9:30! It's nice.

One bad thing may have come out of her little illness though. The "fussiness" that seemed to come with it, has turned into a screaming, yelling little monster that won't go away! Emma started arching her back and throwing herself backward whenever she would get mad, upset, or generally not get her way (picture someone being touched by a faith healer - exactly). Well, THAT started a few weeks ago. NOW she's screaming and yelling when she doesn't get her way. If we're at dinner and she wants something other than what she's been served, SCREAM. If she wants to go into a room other than the one we're in, SCREAM. You get the picture. We're working on ignoring it at the moment, but it's tough! Brad actually had to take her out of TJMaxx the other day because of it. There was nothing wrong - she just didn't feel like shopping right then. It's way too early for the terrible 2's!

This is her fake "I'm mad!" screaming. As you can see, she keeps her eyes open just enough to be able to see us and tell if it's working. If it's not, she can turn it off just as quickly. She's a mess.


We've had a pretty relaxed week, aside from all of the above. I finally got to go to Spa Sydell and use a gift certificate for a facial and manicure that Brad's parents got me for my last birthday. My 29th birthday is on Wednesday and we're planning to celebrate with Amber and Jason on Tuesday night. Emma's going to be playing with her Grandmother and Grandpop and Aunt Stacie while we all go to Carrabba's for dinner! It will be nice to be able to go out for my birthday this year. Last year I had a one month old to think about, and restaurants weren't in our vocabulary. With her little attitude these days, she won't be seeing another restaurant for quite some time either! Keep us in your prayers!

I'll leave you with one more sweet picture. This is Emma's first "lovey." My Aunt Barbara gave it to me for my baby shower and Emma has fallen in love with it! She goes to sleep each night holding it and burying her face in it - it's the sweetest thing I've ever seen!

Kissin Cousins!

We've had a nice week or so just hanging around the house. Nothing too new or exciting to report, but it's been fun nonetheless!

Here are a few pictures of Emma and her cousin, Luke, from their visit. They were SO cute together - they really seemed to like playing together this time. When they've seen each other in the past, they've been so young that they didn't really pay each other too much attention. It was sweet to see them playing together. Luke even gives Emma some sugar! There's nothing like kissin on your cousin in front of the bear pt


Emma's now OFFICIALLY unswaddled!! PERMANENTLY! Like I mentioned previously, it was a long time in the making, but pictures like these make it all worthwhile.

It's taken her awhile to get used to her new found freedom. She's been taking shorter naps because she'd jump right up and start singing and jumping up and down. Luckily, that time has hopefully come and gone. She's now taking her usual 1.5 hour (sometimes longer) naps twice a day. She sometimes likes to lay in her crib and play with her seahorse for awhile before she falls asleep, but she eventually crashes. In fact, this morning she slept until 9:15!! I thought I was in heaven! Emma also had another big "first" this week. She had her first Chick-Fil-A kids meal! It was "Cow Appreciation Week" at Chick-Fil-A, and Emma got dressed up in all of her finest cow-inspired apparel. She even had on a cow diaper cover that you can't see in the picture. She got her meal for free. She LOVED the nuggets! I gave her some veggies rather than the fries, but she HAS had them in the past. She had been having a few days of eating nothing but crap, so I felt like it was a better move to try to sneak in something healthy with her chicken nuggets. She didn't mind ;)

Emma also took her first step this week! She isn't walking yet, but has taken a step here and there. As soon as she's a little more stable when she's standing, she's gonna be off! I'm NOT READY!!

Speaking of cow diaper covers, you all probably know by now that we cloth diaper Emma. We have since she was about 3 months old, though I now wish we had started earlier. We primarily use prefold diapers (see picture) with Thirsties diaper covers (also in picture). We've NEVER had a diaper blow-out!



This week we actually did the math. I've spent approximately $600 total on cloth diapers. They will take Emma from when we started to potty training. That's approximately 2 years of diapering for $600. Had we used disposables, we would have easily spent $2,200 for those 2 years, not including wipes (we often use re-usable wipes). Can you believe that?? AND, the diapers that I have purchased for Emma will EASILY last through another child using them for another 2 years. So, $600 rather than $4,400! Why would you NOT use cloth?? I truly don't mind the 2-3 extra loads of laundry per week, and it's really not that big of a deal. I'm considering doing a cloth diapering post sometime soon and I will show you exactly what's involved and how easy it can be.

For now, I'd like you to click this link and head over to the blog post that a friend of mine recently posted. She saw a facebook status update that I made when I was talking about the new Pampers Dry-Max formula and the chemical burns that it's causing on babies behinds and how glad I was that we didn't have to worry about that with Emma. She emailed to ask me some questions and I gave her the run-down of the different options available and linked her to some great informative websites. She completely converted from disposables to cloth for her second child! I'm so excited about that! Check out her post here.

We're heading back to Carrollton for a few days to spend some time with Amber and Jason. Brad heads back to school pretty soon :( and it's the last time we'll get to go for awhile. I'll post pictures of the trip when we get back!

Busy, busy, busy!

There has been so much going on lately that I feel like I've been in a whirlwind. I've been meaning to stop for a minute and write a new blog post, but I haven't had much spare time. So, here's a couple of weeks worth of blogging in one.

Emma's birthday was wonderful. We spent the day doing fun stuff - lunch with her Aunt Stacie and Grandmother at a Japanese restaurant. It also happened to be the same restaurant where Brad and I had our very first New Years Eve dinner - 10 years ago! My, how times have changed!

We went from there to Emma's favorite store - Petsmart. Emma picked Lucy out a few new toys and treats and headed home. After a big nap and a big dinner, we turned her loose on a slice of her smash cake that hadn't been touched from her party. She made short work of it! We put it on her special Birthday Plate that she will eat her birthday cake on each year. She did so well! Her Grammy even got to watch her tear it up via webcam. We went straight from the highchair to the baby pool - she was a mess!

We spent most of the week recovering from all of the fun festivities. Brad celebrated a nice first Father's Day. It's so hard to believe that last year on Father's Day, my water broke at 10:30 at night and Emma was born the next day. I like to say that she WAS his first Father's Day gift! This year, Emma gave him a grill light and a sweet card. Whenever I think of them grilling, I think of these pictures. So the gift was very appropriate! At least now, when he grills at night, he can see the grill before he throws her in! :)


We took a short trip to Carrollton this week. Only one night away from home. We had a great time, but, as always, it was too short for my taste. Emma slept ok - though she didn't think it was time to go to bed until around 11:00!

This was Emma eating lunch - think she was comfortable at Amber and Jason's house?? Hehe!

Speaking of sleeping, we have big news. Emma is sleeping UNSWADDLED for the very first time in her life! We've tried unsuccessfully several times to unswaddle her. We've tried to slowly loosen the blanket, leave one arm out for several nights in a row, gradually setting her free. It's never worked. She'd scream inconsolably and we'd eventually give in - after all, she was sleeping mostly through the night, so we chose to pick our battles.

Well, it finally became a battle I was ready to fight. She's one year old. I can now say that it's purely out of habit that she needs to be swaddled. AND, she was waking up 1-2 times a night when the swaddle would become loose from her moving around and have to be re-swaddled and nursed back to sleep each time. I was over it. So we did it. One arm free for about 5 days, then both. She's now in a sleepsack (a wearable blanket that zips up, sort of like a potato sack with arm holes). It's awesome. I'm SO proud of her! It was not easy. She screamed the first night or 2, and we swaddled her arms back in. Each night we'd try again, just getting her used to the idea. Eventually she was ok with it. Now if I can just get her to nap a little longer! She used to start to fuss a little and I'd put "pass" (her pacifier) back in and she'd fall back to sleep for awhile longer. Now she bolts right up onto her hands and knees and is ready to roll.

Tonight we left her with my Mom for a little while while we went to dinner. Mom called to let me know that she was refusing to play because all she wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep! Hopefully she'll be completely comfortable with her new-found freedom soon and will sleep a little sounder.

We spent the afternoon at the Yellow River Game Ranch today with Brad's parents and sister and Emma's cousin, Luke. Luke's parents are at an out of town concert and so he's spending the day with his grandparents. We had the best time! It was hot, but lots of fun! Look for lots of pictures of the trip in a later post.

They babysat Emma and Luke together last night so that the parents could all go see Eclipse and have Mexican food for dinner - a nice treat! Apparently, Emma ate her grandmother's meatloaf like it was going out of style, and even tried to eat off of Lukas's plate!

I spent this morning preparing my blog for printing. I ordered Emma's hardbound copy of all of the blog posts from the first time that I announced my pregnancy to her first birthday. It looks incredible online and I can't wait to see it!

Emma's got a new trick - she can make the "rooster sound!" It's the cutest thing in the world. It all started with a Little People farm that my parents got her to play with at their house. She loves it and started making the sound on her own, imitating the toy and my mom. She REALLY got to practice it today at the Game Ranch - we heard LOTS of roosters. I tried and tried and TRIED to get it on video, but she'd quit everytime she saw the camera. Maybe I'll catch her soon! She also sings along with music now - one of the sweetest things you've ever seen. I promise. I'll try to catch her doing that too.

We have a birthday party to attend on Sunday (July 4th) for Emma's friend Juliette. It should be fun! Guess what we have planned for next week?? NOTHING! We need to rest!!

Happy Birthday baby!

It's finally here. She's 1. At 5:35 PM, 1 year ago, I had just given birth to my precious Emma Claire. My life had changed forever. We went from a couple to a family, in a matter of moments. Before I delivered her I had all of these images of holding my sweet baby, nursing her in the delivery room. She wouldn't leave my side - it's standard for the nurses to give the first bath and check-up right in the room. Brad and I would have a few hours to ourselves, getting to know our new little life. Then we would welcome in our family, sharing her with them for the first time, together. It was written in my birth plan, so it would happen just as I had proclaimed it, right?


Yeah. Right! Moments later I was being whisked into surgery to repair my 4th degree tear and Brad was feeding Emma her first bottle. Well, her only bottle. It was right then that I realized that I had absolutely NO control - God was holding the reigns, just as He always has. Emma's blood sugar was borderline-low and she needed to eat right then. I was bleeding so badly that they couldn't wait for me to nurse her before stitching me up in the OR. They tore her away from me before I was even able to hold her. I didn't get to see who's nose she had, what her eye color was, how she smelled. Brad didn't know which direction to go - follow me, or stay with Emma. I told him to stay with her, no matter what. I later found out, it was in those scary first moments when he was alone with her, her sole caregiver for a little while, that he and Emma found their niche. He felt true responsibility for the first time. He fell in love. After I was out of recovery and in a room, they brought her to us. I held her for the first time, and nursed her. I stared at her for hours. I wouldn't put her down until I decided that after well over 36 hours with no sleep, I had to give in. She was mine, and I was her's. And Brad sobbed like a baby. It was all so real all of the sudden. We were a family and we were in charge of another helpless human life. And it was magnificent. She was absolutely perfect - hairy ears and all. ;)


It has been very difficult for me to accept the fact that once she was conceived, I was no longer in control. I couldn't control my morning sickness, my heart rate issues, my water breaking IN THE BED! I can steer her and I can lead her, but she's got a mind of her own and she steers her own boat. It's becoming more and more obvious that our little girl is hard-headed and determined. She knows what she wants and will do what she has to to get it. And I love it. I love that I have no control. She makes up her own mind. She knows what she likes and doesn't like. And I love it. It amazes me to think that we have raised this awesome little one year old with such strong opinions and such an incredible spirit. She's just perfect for us. She fits in our family so perfectly.

She arches her back when she doesn't want her diaper changed, she makes the funniest face and shoves my hand away when I feed her something she doesn't want, and she will look at me and make the cutest little guilty noise before she does something that she knows she's not supposed to. And I love it. I love every BIT of it. I love her.

And here she is, a perfect 1 year old. I'm planning to have this blog printed into a book very soon, and have been thinking for months over what my last post would be before I print it. I want very much for this to be Emma's book. I have written these blog posts for many reasons - for family, for me, but mostly for her. I want her to be able to look back at this as a woman and know how very loved she is and has always been. That's why I've decided to share with everyone a letter that I wrote to Emma when I was pregnant. It's a personal letter, but one that I want included in her book.

I hope that you all enjoy reading it and that she will one day look at it and realize just how much she means to her Daddy and I and how much I have always loved her - with my whole heart. I love you my sweet baby girl. Now and forever.

Enjoy your book. It's the first of many, as my special gift to you on your birthday.


Written: May 11, 2009

My sweet Emma Claire,

I’ve been meaning to write you a letter for months now, but have spent so much time getting ready for your arrival that I just haven’t sat down to write it. You’ll learn that I’m a bit of a procrastinator when it comes to most things. I WOULD be handwriting this letter, but that would be yet another reason to put it off – typing is much quicker.

I wanted to take a few minutes and tell you a little bit about life for your Daddy and me right now. We’ve been waiting so long for you – only 2 more months now! I’m 32 weeks pregnant this week. It seems like it’s been a long journey, although it’s only been 8 months. In truth, it’s been a much longer journey than the past 8 months. Let me tell you a little bit about that journey.

Your Daddy and I got married on October 1, 2005 at Forrest Hills Mountain Resort in Dahlonega, GA. We had been talking about having children for years – we met on November 13, 2000. In fact, we had already planned your name before we had even gotten married – we knew that you would be Emma Claire if you were a girl. A boy, we weren’t so sure about boy names! After I got pregnant with you we decided we liked Jacob Thomas or Ryan Thomas. If you ever have a brother, you may hear those names again! Anyway, we waited until your Dad had a job with Dekalb County Schools and we had purchased our first house before we started trying to get pregnant.

We had no idea what we were in for. No one on either side of our families had ever had a hard time getting pregnant. We were expecting for it to happen quickly and easily and follow our “plans.” We were wrong. After well over a year of “trying” we were getting nowhere. I had always had irregular periods and discovered that even when I DID have one, I wasn’t ovulating. I used ovulation test strips, took my basal temperatures to chart, and kept lengthy records of my monthly cycles. After a year, my doctor decided to do some tests. It was discovered that I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and that was what was likely causing my irregular cycles and not ovulating. I began taking Provera to induce my periods. Each month I would take Provera for 7-10 days and then wait. Once my period started, I would chart my temperatures and use test strips. I still wasn’t ovulating. That was when the doctor prescribed Clomid, a fairly strong drug with nasty side effects that is supposed to induce ovulation. I did 2 rounds of Clomid, 2 months in a row. After the second round, I was pregnant! I was thrilled, as was your Daddy. We told our families right away, sure that everything was perfect.

Unfortunately, I lost that baby after only 8 weeks and 3 days. It was the most devastating thing that I’ve ever experienced. Your Daddy was so supportive, but it was something that I really had to deal with on my own. At that point, I was certain that I’d never be able to get pregnant, much less carry a baby to term. The doctors assured me that it was likely a genetic defect that caused the loss, but I was unsure. I had to go back to the doctor every other day to have blood drawn to check my HCG levels until they were low enough – about 2 weeks. As part of the blood work that was done after my miscarriage, a thyroid panel was completed. That was when they found the real problem. I had hypothyroid disease. Your grandma has hyperthyroid, and your great grandma had hypothyroid. It’s considered to be genetic, though I hope it skips you. It causes several things, including irregular periods, blood clots in the umbilical cord, and most likely, my miscarriage.

I went to the endocrinologist and started on synthroid, to correct my thyroid levels. The doctor told me to not try to get pregnant for at least 6 weeks. At the time I thought, “I just miscarried. I’m not trying again for a LONG time.” I was so afraid of losing another baby. Needless to say, within 5 weeks I was pregnant with you! We decided to let whatever happened happen, no testing, no charting, and no stress. And then you happened!

From day one this has been the perfect pregnancy. You have always measured ahead of your gestational age (the other baby always measured behind). I had horrible morning sickness, mostly in the morning when I brushed my teeth and occasionally at night. Do you want to know the truth though? I was grateful for every bit of morning sickness that I ever had. I told God that if I had to throw up every single day of my pregnancy for you, then I would do so happily. God had better plans, and I was over the nausea by 16 weeks. It’s recently come back, but not very strongly. I have also had symphasis pubis dysfunction, something that happens when your body produces too much relaxin and your pubic bone actually separates. It was painful, but worth it.

This pregnancy has been the happiest time of my entire life. I have everything that I have always wanted. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful house, a nursery that’s almost all ready for you, and a precious baby bump. As I sit here now and look down, all I can see is baby! You weigh about 4 ½ lbs right now. You kick all the time and it’s the best feeling in the world. I think all the time about what you’ll be like when you are born. Will you have hair? Will you look like Daddy or me? Will you be big? Right now you are in the 66^th percentile of height and weight. You are the most precious thing to me in this world and I would do anything in the world for you, even though you haven’t been born yet. I just can’t wait to meet you.

Let me tell you some things that I’ve already learned about you. You hate it when I lay on my left side in particular. You kick me hard and fast and it scares me sometimes because I’m afraid that I’m hurting you – the doctor assures me that I’m not, you just have “attitude!” You like to kick Lucy in the back when she lies against my stomach. When I sit down for too long, you like to kick me in the ribs to make me stretch out more. You hate it when I lean over the counter in front of the sink to wash my hands or do dishes. You love it when I play loud music and take a bath – you kick so hard! You really love Matt Nathanson and Sublime. You kick back when your Daddy pokes my belly – he loves to play with you because you only kick him back. When I had a rented heart Doppler, he was the only one that could find your heartbeat – he used to have to chase you around in my belly because you could feel the pressure from the Doppler and would run! You love to kick my bladder – I could live without that one! You have definite sleep patterns. You usually wake up when I get to work in the morning, around 7AM. You sleep off and on throughout the day, waking up very much around 7PM to play. Your Daddy and I love to sit around and watch my big belly move as you kick and do somersaults. You often lay upright on the right side of my belly looking like a big lump. It makes me laugh, and Daddy says it looks like I have an alien in there. You hate it when I wear pants with a band that goes across my belly. You kick the band all the way around my waist over and over and over again until I change. You’ve given me the best figure I’ve ever had. I lost 5 lbs throughout the early pregnancy and have only gained 7 lbs so far (2 over my pre-pregnancy weight). People tell me all the time how cute I look – I’m only big in my belly, nowhere else. I have you to thank for that! I think I’d like to be pregnant forever. It’s just the best. There is one bad part – sleeping. I wake up once an hour (not exaggerating) to go to the bathroom and readjust in the bed. I have to sleep with one leg over a pillow to keep from rolling onto my belly. You and I don’t always have the same idea as to when bedtime is, so I often get woken up early in the morning to you kicking me because I’m on my side. You have a mind of your own – you WON’T stop kicking until I turn over. I’ve even tried waiting you out. No luck! I’m looking forward to you getting here so that I can get MORE sleep – even if you wake up every 2 hours, it’s still better than I’m getting now!

There are so many things that I’m looking forward to. I can’t wait to hold you, smell your sweet baby smell, and cuddle you. I can’t wait to see your Daddy holding you for the first time. I can’t wait for your grandma to meet you – she’s almost as excited as I am, though she would say more. I can’t wait to breastfeed. I know, it may sound weird, but I can’t wait. It amazes me to think that my body will be making everything that you will need to survive for the first year of your life. It’s such a bonding experience and I’m so excited. I can’t wait to be not only your mom, but your friend. I hope that you will always know that you can come to me and talk about anything in this world, without judgment.

I am planning to cloth diaper you. My mom did the same with me, and it’s a gift I’d like to give you. It’s more complicated and much more time consuming than disposables, but I’m devoted to it. I will have enough time to do the laundry because I’ll be at home with you.

Speaking of being at home, I have 2 more weeks of school until I’m done. I’ve decided to take off a few years to be a stay at home mom. I want to be the one to raise my sweet baby and wouldn’t dream of daycare. We will be on a tight budget just to make ends meet, but things will work out. I’m a little scared about our finances, but I know that God will provide for us. He always has.

I can’t wait to meet you sweet girl. You’re going to make me the one thing in this life that only you can – a mother. Thank you for allowing us to be your parents. I hope that we won’t let you down. I had the best parents in the world and I can only hope that we can be just as good of parents to you. You can always know, without a doubt, that you have always been wanted, loved, and desired. We love you unconditionally and without end. We always will.

With all the love in my heart,

Your Mommy

Birthday Girl

Whew! I can't believe that we just got done celebrating Emma's first birthday. This year has been such a whirlwind.

On Saturday, Brad and I got up early(ish) to finish getting things set up for the party. After a frantic 8:30 AM call to my mom, she came rushing over to watch Emma while Brad and I got things ready. We put her down for her morning nap at 9:30 and she awoke to Party Central at 10:45!


She wore a precious little jumper that I bought for her at Tucker Days this year. I also found a precious handmade hair clip that I attached to a headband for my bald babe. I only made her keep it on for a few pictures, but it was well worth it!

Emma's Grammy and Grandpa (my parents) were there, as were Brad's parents and sister. We decided to keep things low-key and relaxed and invited our best friends and Emma's best little buddies. They guest list: Amber, Jason, and Seth, Mary, Jeremy, and Jack, Elizabeth and Bernard, Rachel, Juan, and Juliette. It was just perfect. I actually got things done ahead of time and was able to really sit back and enjoy the party, our friends, and my baby girl.


Brad manned the grill and, after an emergency trip to Home Depot for another propane tank, the burgers and hotdogs were delicious. I also made potatoes au gratin and Brad's mom made baked beans and a fruit tray. Emma loved her nitrate-free hotdog!

After we ate lunch we sang Happy Birthday to Emma. I cried like a baby. It was a mixture of emotions, all flooding to the surface. We went through SO much to conceive this baby, bring her safely into this world, and nurture her for an entire year. It has been the most satisfying, loving, and life-altering year of my life. I was so happy to see her at her first birthday party happy, healthy, and loving life. I was so mind-numbingly honored to have her surrounded with our best friends who all love her as if she were their own. I couldn't have been more happy. And I couldn't have been more sad. Seeing this year come to an end is just heart-breaking for me. She has been the sweetest, most cuddly, best smelling, most affectionate baby I've ever known. I have seen her grow and develop and change SO much over the last year. Heck, over the last 3 months! I have savored every sweet second of it, taking plenty of time to enjoy her little sounds, her little snuggles, eskimo kisses, and her sweet baby smell. Don't get me wrong - I haven't taken one single second for granted - not ONE. But it feels like we're about to leave her "baby years" behind and move on to the "big girl" years. I'm just not ready for that. If it's all the same to you, I'm going to keep holding, nursing, spoiling, and "babying" my little angel for just as long as I want to. I'm sure no one will mind. :)


After we sang, and I cried. And cried. And cried.....we got on to the "face cake!" She was SO funny! She didn't hesitate for a split second - she dug her hand right in there! She played with the icing and ate a ton of it. She even shared some with me! She didn't have any extra for her Daddy though! I don't think he was too offended. ;)



After she was done digging in it, she just used her face as a utensil. She stuck her little face right in there! She was SOOO cute! Everyone was squeeling about how she knew what to do with cake - and she did! After she had her fill, we took one last picture for posterity and headed to the sink. Lots of soap, papertowels, and warm water later and she was fairly clean!




Brad changed her clothes and we sat down to open presents. She got so many great things! She enjoyed playing with all of her friends - particularly Juliette! After presents, Seth, Juliette, and Emma changed into their bathing suits and played outside in the baby pools that we set up. It was HOT outside, so I MAY have gotten my feet in too......





After we swam, the party wound down. Everyone left except for Amber, Jason, and Seth. Emma went down for a nice long nap - 3 hours! Once she woke up we went to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants (Frontera) for dinner with our company. The waitresses fawned all over Emma - she was making lots of friends by waving at strangers and offering them her goldfish. We enjoyed the live music. We played "name that tune" because the guy was playing some pretty obscure songs. Jason won.

It was the best day ever. Brad and I can't get over it. We both actually enjoyed ourselves rather than being stressed out and in "entertaining" mode. We're both worn out from getting the party and the house together, but it was well worth it.

Tomorrow is Father's Day. On Father's Day last year, my water broke. Emma was born the following day. Her birthday this year is on Wednesday, the 22nd. We're still not sure what our plans are for that day. Maybe we'll take Emma to one of her favorite stores - Petsmart! We have a special birthday plate that Emma's Aunt Claire got for her. She will eat her cake on that plate for her birthday every year and we'll write the date on the back. So she'll be having a piece of her cake on her special plate. I may even let her make it another "face cake."

The day after her birthday is Emma's 1-year check up. I'm dreading it. I plan to refuse the MMR shot for another year or so, so we'll see how they take that. Please pray for my strength in that doctor's office - I will NOT fold on this one!

Thank you so much to everyone who has made this year so special for us and for loving Emma so very much. You all mean the world to us!