Abby's Baptism

This past Saturday we had the honor of having Abigail Marie baptized in our church.  It was a wonderful day full of family and friends and we were so blessed to have them all there with us.  Abby was an absolute angel.  She didn't mind the big, uncomfy dress too much.  She wore Brad's christening gown, my grandmother's cross necklace, and on the necklace, she wore a baby ring that Brad's mother had made from one of her rings.  My mom also gave her a special bib that was blessed by Pope Benedict.  It was so special to have all sides of her family represented.  

It was a very emotional day for me.  The last time that we attended a baptism at Holy Cross, it was Emma's.  My Dad was there with us, as was Brad's Grandaddy.  My Dad's absence was so painful for me.  It was never more obvious that when the deacon traced the sign of the cross on Abby's forehead, and invited all who felt compelled to do the same.  My Dad should have been right there.  It hurt more than words can possibly express.  I miss him daily, but there are certain moments when it sneaks up on me and hits me like a bus.  That whole day was filled with those moments.  He would have ADORED Abby, just as he adored Em.  He would love to hear all of the crazy things Emma says these days.  He would have cracked up when, as the Deacon was about to pour water over Abby's head, Emma shouted "Abby takin a bath!"  He would have thought it was hysterical when she completed the sign of the cross with the Deacon.  "Father, Son, and Holy Spiwit."  Precious.

We were so blessed that Brad's Aunt Elaine and Uncle George honored us by becoming Abby's godparents.  She adores them already!  They drove all the way from the southern tip of Florida to be with us, and it meant the world.  

After the baptism we headed home to celebrate with cake and punch.  There's a funny story behind the cake.  I have bad luck at Publix with baptism cakes.  Emma's had to be completely remade on the morning of her baptism because they made it orange instead of pink.  It was SO ugly!  Well, I went to pick up Abby's and noticed that it read "God Bless AbiGALI Marie."  I just about died.  Had it said Emma's nickname for her, "Abigwail," I would have let it go.  But Abigali had to go.  They were able to remove the wrong letters and fix it, but you could still tell.  I think I've learned my lesson with Publix.  It sure did taste good though!

After most of our guests had left, Amber, Jason, and their daughter, Quinn, stayed and we got to visit.  We don't see them nearly often enough.  We had Mexican for dinner and they left just before the girls went to bed.  It was an awesome day that we will never forget.  

Big Girl Bed

Bye-bye, crib!

Prisoner #5519 made her escape on Saturday afternoon. Brad was at the mechanic getting my car fixed and I was getting Abby down for her nap. Emma was SUPPOSED to be sleeping when I heard a loud crash and then hysterical crying. I ran in her room to find Emma, and all of her earthly belongings on the floor. She was freaked out. I got her calmed down, put all of her stuffed animals and blankets back in the bed and did what any good mom would do. I called my mom! She and I both hoped that her little fall was enough to scare her into not becoming a repeat offender. She suggested putting some blankets or pillows around the crib in case she fell again. That sounded like a plan. I called Brad to tell him what had happened, as I was watching Emma on the video monitor. Guess what I saw? Yep. #5519 chucked every single thing out of her bed and hiked one leg up over the side. I ran in there in time to stop her halfway in, halfway out. It also scared the crap out of her!

She made the decision for me. As soon as Brad got home, he dismantled her crib and brought in the toddler bed. I got it off of Craigslist several months ago for about $30, in anticipation of her needing it. I was so glad! We put her down in her big girl bed for her afternoon nap. We used the "supernanny technique" to get her to stay in bed. The first time she got up we went in and put her back in bed telling her "it's night time. Stay in your bed and go night night." The second (and each consecutive time) out of bed, you just put her back in, no eye contact, no talking. We probably had to put her back in bed 6-7 times, but she eventually fell asleep and slept almost 2 hours! Last night was even better - only had to put her back twice. Twice again for her naps today too. I'm sure that any day now she'll be a pro and just stay in bed. I'm SOOOO proud!!

Emma cooked in her kitchen with Abby while Daddy took down the crib.

I told her that she was about to take a nap in her big girl bed. I guess she assumed we weren't going to give her a mattress!

She had a little "funny" last night. At about 1:00AM we were about to head to bed (had a late night). I got Brad to check on Em in the monitor. He told me that she was out of bed but not moving. It looked like she was praying. Sure enough, I went in and found her like this.



SO cute! I put her back in her bed and covered her up. Around 5:30 when Abby woke to eat, Brad checked again. She was in the floor asleep. When he looked again, she had put herself back in the bed! I guess we have a little sleepwalker! The funniest thing was that she did this all silently.


Today we went to Target to get her some toddler bedding. They had Disney Princesses, Minnie Mouse, and Yo Gabba Gabba (her 3 favorite things right now). As you can see from her pictures, she ADORES YGG, and I thought it would be the best choice. She already has the pillow pals to go with it. What did she choose? Minnie Mouse. I'll admit, I'm not a very big Disney fan. I tried and tried to get her to change her mind, but no dice. So of course we ended up with Minnie Mouse! It's in the wash right now, so that she can sleep with it tonight. She's so excited! I'll take a picture of the final project as soon as I can.

2 Months

Once again, time is flying. Abigail is 11 weeks old, actually. It's so hard to believe. She has fit into our little family so perfectly and so seamlessly that it's like she's always been here. She's growing so fast and changing daily. Here are some updates on our little angel.

Abby is wearing 0-3 or 3 month clothes. It's time to put away the newborn stuff!

She's still a peanut. She is SO much smaller than Emma was.

She still has her pretty dark brown hair and her blue eyes. I hope she keeps both!


She is cloth diapered, and still wears XS diapers, with a few smalls thrown in.

Her favorite time of day is bathtime. She gets a bath every other day, and alternates with a "cat bath" next to the sink in our bathroom. She LOVES starting at herself in the mirror!


Her favorite toy is the bead toy that my Dad made. Emma enjoyed it, but it's Abby's best friend! She talks to it, coos at it, and smiles. She loves grabbing the beads and bells when I'm changing her.

She's such a happy baby. She only fusses when she gets really sleepy.

She's sleeping SO well! In fact, last night she slept 8 hours straight, followed by another 3.5 after a feeding.

She takes 2 scheduled naps a day. I've pretty much gotten her on Emma's schedule, though she dozes in between naps. I'm pretty sure she'll end up with a 3rd nap, but it's so nice to have her napping when her sister does.

Emma adores her "baby sisser" still. She loves to stroke her hair, kiss her head, and bring her toys to show her. She also loves it when Abby does things that she asks. For example "throwing" a ball when Emma brings it to her - Emma cracks up.

She smiled for her Daddy for the first time yesterday! She's been smiling at me forever, but he hasn't really worked for it. He finally got a huge, gummy grin last night. I think it made his day.

She finally likes her swing. She used to hate it, but love her bouncy seat. Now it's the other way around. She tends to get what my Dad called "back-itis" when she sits in her bouncy seat. She HAS to be moved. If I take her out of the bouncy and put her in the swing, she's completely happy.

She's such a happy baby - I just can't get over it. She is so content to sit in her swing while we eat. Emma was the opposite - it was like she could smell the food and had to be held. This is SO much nicer!

She wore her first "hair click" as Emma calls them, yesterday! She's got so much more hair than Emma did, though she's losing a little in the back. :(



Her baptism is coming up in a few weeks! Her godparents are Brad's Dad's aunt and uncle, George and Elaine. We can't wait for them to come up from south Florida to meet their god-daughter!

Honesty

Most people who know me will tell you that I tell it like it is. It's true. However, as those closest to me can attest, I often keep most of my personal feelings bottled up until they run over. Yesterday was one of those days. I have kept so many feelings bottled up for way too long.

I keep this blog not only for myself to look back on, but for my girls. I want them to be able to look back at this and see what our lives were like "back then." I want them to see how much fun they had, and how much they were loved. I want them to see how much their mama adores them and always has. I hope they see that anyways. I don't only want them to know about the best times. The sugary sweet moments. The always happy, smiling, funny mama. I want them to know the honest truth. That I'm a human, that life is not always perfect, and that it's OK to feel ALL of your feelings.

While I have enjoyed and savored every single second that I get to spend at home with these girls, things are difficult. When I had Emma we had a good bit of money saved up from my years of teaching that we could use to "get by" so that I could stay home to be a full-time mom, my greatest desire. I knew things would be tough, but had no idea how much it would stress me out. Brad's paycheck as a teacher doesn't pay all of our bills, much less food, gas, car insurance. I had no clue how quickly our "savings" would be used. It's hard. I'm stressed on a daily basis just from managing our finances, but I hope my girls never see that. I'm fairly certain that they don't. When I'm with them, I'm 100% with them. My mind is nowhere else, and I try hard to keep it that way.

Let's be honest. Over the last 2 years, money has been the least of my stress. This year has SUCKED. My Dad getting sick and eventually passing away was the single hardest thing I've ever had to experience. It has ripped out my heart and I'm struggling to keep it together most days. Like I said, I put on a smile, keep focused on my girls, and I survive - putting one foot in front of the other because I HAVE to. But that's all.

I miss him every single moment of every single day. I've heard that at some point it will get easier, but I'm seeing no signs of that. I can't fathom a day where I miss him less or think about him less. I'm not really certain I want to. I just hope that a day can come where I can look back and smile. Not cry for my loss, but merely be thankful for the time we had. I AM thankful, but I'm also deeply, deeply grieving and sad. How do you piece your heart back together when it's been broken so permanently? When will a quiet moment to myself pass by with peace instead of tears? When will I be able to look at pictures of him and just be happy, instead of thinking of how it felt to speak my last words to him as I watched him slip away?

I want those last 2 weeks to disappear. I don't want them in my memories. I don't want to see what I saw, feel what I felt, or let those horrible memories taint my recollection of my sweet Daddy. I just want to remember him as he was when I was growing up. Before his depression, before his physical pain, before the drinking, before he got sick. He was the best Dad in the whole world. I'm quite certain that no one has ever loved me more, or ever will again.

What's my point? Abby, Emma, it's OK to be sad. It's OK to let the tears fall and even more OK to let someone comfort you. It's OK to be angry and to grieve like there's no tomorrow. But there IS tomorrow. You have both taught me that. I would never have made it this far out of the pits of depression without you both. I'm still working on myself. I'm working on being genuinely happy again, but have no idea how to make that happen yet. I'll get there. I love you both more than life itself, as did your Grandaddy. I can never thank you both enough for giving me reason to get up in the morning, and reason to be a better person tomorrow than I am today.

Love you both, your Mama.

Nekky Booty

Houston, we have a problem. Emma has figured out how to take her diapers off. All of them. Not just the ones with velcro, but the snap diapers too. I thought I was safe with those. Nope. Behold. In all of her royal nakedness, Princess Nekky Booty. That's what she says when she's "nekkid."

When I was in the hospital having Abby, my sister-in-law was watching Emma for us. Em was in disposables for those few days and apparently figured out how to take those off REAL fast. Since then, it's only happened a couple of times, and only with velcro diapers. Only once has there been a mess, and it was luckily only pee.

Today I put her in her "nap diaper." It's a pocket diaper with snaps (3 on each side!) holding it closed. Foolproof, right? It takes her awhile to fall asleep sometimes, so I glanced at the video monitor every now and then. She was happily playing with her stuffed animals and blankets each time I checked. Then, silence. She fell asleep. A couple of hours later I went in to wake her up and was dumbfounded by the sight which I beheld. Nekky booty. With her face in her diaper. Her.wet.diaper. She's a nut job. So what's a mom to do? I grabbed my phone, snapped the picture, and proceeded to send it to both Brad and my mom. And now, it's on the internet. You had better believe that I'm going to show her this when she gets older. The things she puts her mama through.....

So now I guess I get to pull out the onesies and put one on her for every nap. If that doesn't work......I don't know. Ducktape??

Wordless Wednesday

A normal day

I thought I would write a little bit about what our days look like right now with a 2 year old and a 2 month old. I'm afraid that I'll wind up forgetting all of these things one day, as I already HAVE with some of Emma's babyhood. I may have done this before, but not about both girls. So, here you go.

8:00 wake up. Abby starts to stir around 7:30 usually, but I can put her passy back in, flip her onto her belly, and keep her asleep until Emma's up. Emma gets up somewhere around 8:00-8:30. I go get Emma up and bring her into our bed to "nuggle" and I nurse Abby while Emma watches "Mickey Mouse Cluh-house." It's a pretty sweet time of the day.

8:30 Breakfast. Abby sits in her bouncy seat or the swing while I drink a cup of coffee (thank GOD for the Keurig) and fix Emma's breakfast. She usually eats pancakes or waffles, or the occasional cheese eggs or bowl of oatmeal. She always has fruit, and usually some yogurt too. We've started letting her watch either Blue's Clues, Rugrats, or Madeline on my laptop from Netflix while she eats. It keeps her happy so I can check my email and tend to Abby.

9:00 Playtime. I usually take this time to clean up the kitchen and run some laundry while Emma entertains herself. There's usually some Sesame Street involved at some point. When I'm done, we play in the living room/playroom.

10:00-10:30 Naptime. I try to get both girls down around 2 hours after they wake up. Emma typically plays for a good 30 minutes in her crib before falling asleep, but once she's out - she's out. She would probably sleep for 3 hours if I let her. I sometimes do! After she's in the bed, I change and feed Abby and put her down. She falls asleep on her own in her crib. I occasionally have to put the passy in a few times, but she goes down SO easily.

1:00 Lunch. I sometimes have to wake Emma up from her nap for lunch. I try to get Abby up a little earlier and feed her before Emma's up. Emma's quite the sleeper. Lunch usually consists of a sandwich, puffs (similar to Pirate's Booty), and fruit, along with her cup of milk. She adores PB&J and will also eat a grilled cheese if it's made in the toaster - NOT in a pan. She's a nut. She has recently discovered a love for PB&Banana too. I occasionally mix it up and throw in some nutella if it's a special occasion. Abby chills in the swing while we eat.

1:30 Playtime. If we have any errands to run, now's the time. I haven't gotten out much with both girls yet, so we are tending to stay at home. Emma loves to help me fold diapers, so we do this every other day. If it's cool enough, we go outside to play. She loves bubbles and to swing.

3:00 Nap #2. We've tried cutting Emma back to 1 nap because she won't always sleep during this nap, but it was ugly. Very ugly. She still doesn't always sleep, and takes forever to fall asleep, but once she's down she sleeps from 1.5-2 hours and our world is much better for it.

5:30 Wake Up. We usually have to wake Emma up from this nap. She's not usually very happy about that, but if we don't, she won't sleep at night. Brad usually gets home around this time.

6:00 Dinner or Mimi's. We go to my mom's several nights a week for dinner. This is when we make it out the door to go. If we're staying at home, I start cooking by this point. Brad has just gotten home and can watch the girls while I cook.

6:30-7:00 Dinner. It's not always this late, but sometimes is. Emma is a pretty good dinner eater. She adores jambalaya, spaghetti (shabeggy), chicken of any assortment (as long as there's a sauce to dip in), anything Mexican (white chicken chili is a favorite), and hot dogs. She'll try just about anything, but is fairly picky. If it's something she likes, she chows down.

7:30-8:00 Nuggle Bed. That's what Emma says around this time. Once the kitchen is cleaned, we pile in the bed to watch Peppa Pig. It's one show that we all enjoy. If you haven't seen it, you should.

8:00-8:30 Bathtime. Brad and I take turns for baths. On my night, I actually take a bath with the girls. It's just the easiest and most time-conscious thing. Abby goes first, and then while Brad's putting her jammies on, it's Emma's turn.

9:00-9:30 Once Emma and I are out, I read stories to Emma and we say our prayers. Then Brad puts her in the bed while I nurse Abby. Abby goes down right after.

Well, that's pretty much a typical day. I had worried so much before Abby came about how things would go. How on earth would I manage getting them both out of the bed if they woke up at the same time? How would we do baths? It's really been SO much easier than I had expected. It was so nice to have Abby come on Brad's first week off of school for the summer, so we had the entire summer to figure things out. This is the beginning of my second week alone with both girls and it's going great. I'm really enjoying my new normal with my 2 girls!